“Like shopping at Goodwill, you have to sort through a lot of trash, but sometimes you find something that's worthwhile.”
Navigating the awkward terrain of a dating app can be a serious challenge, especially for a trans or gender nonconforming person. These four individuals shared their experiences with us—the good, the bad, and the unsolicited dick pics. They also offer advice to those who may be interested in dating a trans or GNC person but are unsure about how to approach someone in an app.
Produced & Edited by Shane Whitaker, feat. Arisce Wanzer, Miles Jai,
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It's not like dating is always unicorns and rainbows for cis people. People need to be honest. If you look like a man but have a vag, state that in your profile, same for people presenting as a woman but have a dick.
I’m a trans woman and I think Arisce Wanzer is one of the most sane trans women I have ever met. She should be a spokes person for the trans community. So much better than Riley Justin Dennis or Zinnia Jones.
Firstly, All dating sites are crap. The whole dating site industry need a good kick in the crotch to smarten up. They are all a scam. They all have fake profiles. Bumble and Tinder are a complete waste of time in anyone's culture, orientation and age group.
Grinder a total waste of time for anyone genuine.
I am an older straight guy and done the lot, that is EVERY orientation.
I The trans dating sites are completely useless. I've tried nearly all of them. They are all tarred with the same brush and want to scam the genuine and/or needy guy for as much money as they can get out of him. I've been scammed and abused so many times looking for a nice trans lady I have virtually given up and live alone.
Only way to meet anyone decent is get out into the REAL world.
Some Of You People In The Comment Section “Dont Be a Hater All Your Life”
POF is discriminatory against trans people but I have had reports from trans that if you say you are trans on your profile you get blocked or if you are not passable you get blocked as well.
Dating Apps Do Have a Target Audience So You Really Can’t Blame Them but This is The World We Live In. Grindr Does Include Trans Members Though.
You’re all Beautiful and or Handsome.
If you're actually asking (I like to assume the best, but you get some trolls on here any time gender comes up) being nonbinary is when you're not a man or a woman. So like the nonbinary people in the video aren't women and they aren't men, and because our society is pretty into putting folks into one or the other of those two boxes that can lead to a lot of folks passing judgement on nonbinary people or just generally acting based on ignorance or fear to them. If you tried learning from the threads above and noticed some people who definitely aren't scientists trying to say there's no such scientific thing, that's why! As an archaeologist (so, as someone who has a background in both biology and anthropology) I can pretty well confirm that nonbinary people are real and that being nonbinary isn't a type of illness or a 'not quite this' situation- they're just a gender other than man or woman, like they have been through history.
+Danny Boy Jango No, they don't want us, they want their idealized version of us that doesn't reflect the reality of who most of us are.
Usually, at best it's a doomed relationship based on unrealistic expectations. At worst, it's walking to our deaths.
+Oatmeal I think it's a matter of respect, a fetish guy wont treat you the same as someone who likes you for who you are. The youtuber I mentioned said that a lot trans ladies (not all) have driven men away, they want to have the fairy tale man who loves her despite that she's trans. Seems like it would be better with someone who has no problem with your status and desires you, and appreciates all you do to become the true you. IMO, or so I would think (if that makes any sense, hope so).
I think OkCupid is the best dating app for trans and non binary people. All these folks are lovely. Dealing with cis people can be hard and frustrating. I sometimes want to give up and to date only other trans and NB people.
+A L Did you know you can get diagnosed for body and mind dysphoria? I think that proves that trans people are real
And why would people just pretend to be a different gender than they are if they knew that some people would hate on them and stuff?
And you can't possibly know if it's a real thing if you haven't experienced it, you don't know how they feel
But I agree with that men are men and women are women. Trans men are men and trans women are women
There is no such thing as "cis." There are men and there are women. Period. In reality, there is really no such thing as "trans." "Trans" people are individuals who pretend to be something they are not.
It's funny that some of these people exude the definition double standard? but you get what you're fishing for on these apps, either positive or negative attention ( that's for everyone regardless of what sex you are, want to be or aspire to be?) But it's the same for everyone, we all just want people to be "honest", kind and not a serial killer and be the same person their profile pic shows them to be.
I think they misunderstand just how much cis women receive unsolicited dick pics, and messages asking “how big are you?” (Breasts), etc. I watched this video going, yup, yup, yuuup. Now you’re having both a trans woman + cis woman experience.
Lee (black hair) is so charming and beautiful. Just to fall in love with her.
It doesn´t matter if she is a woman: VIA trans* or not.
I label transpeople not transgender.
I say, that they are, what they are VIA trans*.
So Transition is only their tool, to become complete what they are.
Don't believe their lies. Trans is the colloquial term for people who suffer from gender identity disorder. The people who have co-opted an illness for their political goals seek to confuse the terminology until none of it means anything.
morgan nicholls Trans doesn't mean "I was born female but identify as male" Or "I was born male but identify as female" It just means you don't identify with the sex you were assigned at birth. So, trans masculine, trans feminine, or neither. That's actually what the white stripe in the trans pride flag stands for, it's for nonbinary individuals.
I don't put that I'm trans in my profile because I don't want it to be a first impression. Instead I tell them after I've been talking to them for a bit (usually before a first date) and the only time someone has had a problem with it was when they just wanted to hook up. On average guys tend to be more ignorant about trans things than girls but I suppose that's because the girls I talk to are already at least knowledgeable about gay things.
+Lucy Towey The people who need self love and acceptance are trans people because they don't even accept what they were born as. They hate themselves. Which is why they often mutilate themselves with hormones and surgeries.
i don't think i heard it if they did, but did any of them mention the HUGE number of chasers, especially on grindr? i swear 90% of the 'trans' tribe when i signed up was just cis men wanting 'a tr***y or a ts to take my load'
Fox dude, when you say "50+ identity madness" the reality is that people are trying to find the right way of describing being something other than just male or female, when there isn't really a globally agreed upon term. Like I said, the language is new, the experience they're trying to describe is not. Google "third gender throughout history" and you'll get a load of examples of people and groups who identified as neither make nor female, from all over the world, and recorded as far back as ancient mesapotamia - not just from modern, western nations. Saying they're narcissistic and want attention isn't based on anything other than your assumption, but even if that's the case, who cares? You still haven't been able to tell me how it hurts anyone?
Conway, never in history there was a claim for 50+ identity, this is wrong. I think it's says a lot about young people and our modern society... I think the young have less and less core values, less and less traditional models and families but they still want to belong to something, I think there is a lot of narcism as well feed by social medias and the crave for people to stand out.
You will notice that this 50+ gender madness doesn't exist amongst poorer people and poorer country. This is a rich country problem. People have everything but they are deeply bored, they need a cause something to defend.
Fox why does it concern you, though? In answer to the concern you raised, while the language of these "labels" might be new, people who are neither male nor female, or who are a little of both, have existed throughout history and all over the world, but they have also been discriminated against, killed, and had medical treatment forced on them, so many of them lived in secrecy or fought to be "normal". The way I see it, that caused lots of harm, whereas people identifying how they like, causes no harm at all, so why is it a concern for you?
There are people looking for relationships on these apps! And as a cisgender woman I can say I've never had to deal with the things trans people do. It's not because they are hookup apps it's because discrimination and fetishization .
BennyB5555 lol if you are actually asking "cis" is short for cisgender meaning a person who identifies as the gender the were assigned at birth, and "trans" or transgender is an unbrella term for someone who doesn't.
That has nothing to do with this. Miles has said numerous times that he's not transgender, he's just a guy who likes to look pretty or "fabulous". So no, what you said here does not apply to him at all.
how about we not define someone's identity or experience for them? straight up, when someone says they are genderfluid, genderqueer, trans, nonbinary etc and someone else acts like they know the person more than they know themselves, you come across as kind of a dick. you dont fucking know their life so take a step back honey, they ain't you.
Yep.. I mean Miles is cool and all, nice to see people like him be confident in looking the way they do but i just don't understand why he uses these frivolous terms. Like dude, unless you're trying to transition, you're just a effeminate guy. Nothing wrong with that at all.
I dunno, as a feminine guy myself who dresses GNC, I just don't see the point in making up these terms.
JJ Uzumaki No, what you're thinking of is nonbinary, which can be considered trans but it's not what trans means. Trans means they identify with a gender that is not the same as the sex they were born as. So a transman is someone who was born female but transitioned to male.
In the case of post-op trans people, while Dennis is correct that a surgically inverted penis is not a vagina as it has no cervix, no menstrual cycle, no ability to conceive children, and no eggs.
I personally think that I could look pass that and think the guy was still straight.
I have to somewhat agree. I don't mind trans people being on Grindr at all but when it comes to the meat of it, I do think that attraction towards trans genitals (because let's be real here, genitals matter to most people), it does touch a bit on the bi scale. Because there's no such thing as a "Female penis" or a "Male Vagina". A penis is a male sexual organ and a vagina is a female sexual organ, that's how we determine the difference of sex.
And well, one thing I've noticed with a lot of trans-attracted people is that they specifically seek out pre-op trans people, especially those into transwomen because they want the dick but still want to be thought of as "Straight" because it's a transwomen which is just... Yeah.
Dennis but what if they literally have the genitals that match their gender identity (through surgery). If a guy is attracted to someone who identifies as a woman and who has a vagina and boobs how is that bi?? Same with trans men.
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